RUTH 1:1-18

[1:1] In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons.

[2] The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there.

[3] But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons.

[4] These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years,

[5] and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband.

[6] Then she arose with her daughters-in-law to return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the fields of Moab that the LORD had visited his people and given them food.

[7] So she set out from the place where she was with her two daughters-in-law, and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah.

[8] But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother's house. May the LORD deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me.

[9] The LORD grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept.

[10] And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.”

[11] But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands?

[12] Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons,

[13] would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me.”

[14] Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

[15] And she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.”

[16] But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

[17] Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

[18] And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.

It’s been said that a mother’s work is never done.  That is certainly true for Rosario Schielzeth.  You see Rosario is a mother who has gone the extra mile when it comes to taking care of her daughter.  I say that because Rosario’s daughter is suffering from dementia and are you ready for this?  Her daughter is 87 years old.  That’s right.  Her daughter is 87 years old which means that Rosario is 104.  Isn’t that amazing?  A 104 year old mother is taking care of her 87 year old daughter. In an interview with the Sarasota Herald-Tribune Rosario’s grandson, Albert Garcia, Rosario’ grandson said, “My grandma doesn't want to die. She doesn't want to see my mom left alone."

Yes, it’s true. A mother’s work is never done. Of course you don’t have to be a mother to know what it’s like to take care of someone. It happens all the time. The person who needs your help could be a sister or brother or an elderly mother or father or it could be a friend.  It could be someone who turns to you be cause you’re a good listener or because you’re someone who can help them out financially.

Now if you’re a good Christian you’re supposed to be there when someone needs you right?  You’re supposed to be kind and compassionate.  You’re supposed to be generous and giving, right?   That’s why you don’t want to end up in the situation that a wife found herself in after her husband was diagnosed with a serious illness. Unfortunately, the husband was suffering from a rare blood disorder that left him feeling very weak and anemic.  One day after an examination the doctor asked to speak to the wife privately in his office. The doctor said, “Your husband is a very sick man which is why I need you to be there for him.  Every morning you’re going to have to get up early and fix him a nutritious breakfast.  He needs all the calories he can get., So don’t be afraid to  make him things like pancakes, bacon and eggs.  Then do the same thing when it comes to the rest of his meals. You also might want to do some baking every day so there are lots goodies around the house. Because of his disease his immune system is also very weak.  So, you’ll need to keep the house spotless. Make sure you vacuum and dust and change the sheets on your bed every day. You’ll also need to make sure he doesn’t over exert himself. So, you’ll need to do the things he usually does like take the out trash, mow the lawn and do all the heavy lifting around the house.  Do you understand?” the doctor asked.  The wife nodded her head and then went back to the waiting room.  When the husband saw his wife he asked anxiously, “What did the doctor say?” “Oh,” the wife replied, “the doctor says gonna die!”

When you’re a Christian you’re supposed to be there for those who need you.  Before you do that though you better make sure you’re wearing your oxygen mask.   I’m referring of course to the oxygen masks that you find on airplanes.  Before the plane takes off the flight attendants always say the same thing.  “In the unlikely event the cabin looses air pressure oxygen masks will drop from the compartment above you.”  Do you remember what they always tell you to do next?  That’s right. They tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before you try to help someone else.

I thought of those oxygen masks while pondering what happened to Naomi and her daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah.   This is a story of a woman who refused to abandon her mother-in-law in her hour of need but it’s also a story about a daughter-in-law who did.  When Naomi urges her daughters-in-law to go back to their own families Ruth refuses.  She refuses with a vow that has become famous over the years.  Ruth says, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried.”

So, Ruth goes with Naomi.  Orpah, on the other hand, changes her mind and goes back to her family.  Now the temptation is to look down on Orpah and accuse her of being selfish and ungrateful.  Is that really fair though?  Maybe Orpah didn’t go with Naomi because her own mother needed her.  Or maybe Orpah wasn’t physically or emotionally strong enough to make the journey. Or maybe Naomi played favorites and didn’t really like Orpah.  We just don’t know.

So, for whatever the reason, Orpah made the decision that she couldn’t help Naomi.  She put her oxygen mask on and went back to her family. Sometimes that’s what you have to do.  You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else.

After all taking care of someone can hard work.  It can be physically, emotionally and spiritually draining.  Just look at Jesus.  Do you remember what happened when that woman came up behind Jesus in the crowd and touched the hem of his garment?  We’re told that as soon as the woman touched him Jesus knew “that power had gone out from him.”  So he turned to the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?”

That’s what happens when you take care of someone.  Power or energy flows from you to the other person.   That’s why you need to take care of yourself.  That’s why you need to make sure that you’re wearing your oxygen mask.

That’s what Jesus did. Jesus was a very compassionate healer but there were times when he put himself first. There were times when he said “no more” to the people who were crying out to be healed.   Instead of healing them, he walked away from them.  He did that so he could go off somewhere to be by himself and pray. There’s also that famous scene in Bethany where Mary pours that expensive perfume on Jesus.  The disciples are indignant and scold Mary.  They tell her that the perfume could have been sold and the money could have been used to help the poor.  Jesus, however, tells them to leave her alone and says “you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me.”  (Matthew 26:11)  You see Jesus knew that he was about to be arrested and crucified.  So at that particular moment he needed Mary’s act of loving kindness.  At that particular moment Jesus needed to put himself first.  Jesus knew how important it is to take care of yourself. He knew how important it is to make sure you’re wearing your oxygen mask. 

Like Ruth  you have been called to be there for those who need you but like Orpah you have also been called to make sure that you care of yourself.    Of course this isn’t an either or proposition.  It isn’t a choice between taking care of yourself and taking care of others.  It’s actually a both and proposition.  The more you take care of yourself the more you will be able to take care of others.  

Several years ago the Boston Globe ran a touching story about a man named Bob Connolly.    Bob Connolly lives in Dorchester and his life changed completely after his mother died.  That’s when Bob made the decision to move in with his three brothers who are all mentally challenged.  He did that by taking an early retirement offer from Gillette.  Bob now does the food shopping and cooks the meals that they share and even goes on vacations with his brothers to Disney World.  He does encourage them to be as independent as possible and each of them does have a part time job.  Bob, however, is the one who is ultimately responsible for them.  He’s the one who cares for them and makes medical decisions for them and he says that he has no regrets.   In the interview he said, “What is, is…You can either accept responsibility or you can run and hide somewhere.   And I love these guys.”  (Boston Globe 5/14/2000)

When it comes to taking care of those who need you the best thing you can do is take care of yourself.   The best thing you can do is be like Orpah so you can then be like Ruth.  So, the question this morning is simple.  Are you wearing your oxygen mask?   And, if you’re not do you know where you can find it?  Amen.

Rev. Dr. Richard A. Hughes

July 22, 2012