April 18, 2010

Sermon

Acts 9:1-20

 “Struck by Grace”

Willie Smith was on his way to work one morning, meaning he was heading out to threaten someone unless the person came through with the money owed him, when he said “I heard Jesus talking to me”. Willie was a drug dealer, an occupation he fantasized about from the time he was a little boy. In his youth he saw a dealer holding a handful of money, wearing lots of gold jewelry and looking like a big shot in his fur coat. That dealer made such an impression on Willie that he began to imagine himself in that role, holding wads of cash in his hands. After several years he finally became the drug dealer he wanted to be. At the height of his drug life, Willie said he was taking drugs everyday while dressing the part of a successful drug dealer.  Then one day, he heard Jesus speaking through the radio station he was listening to in his car. He said he changed the channel only to hear the same message on that channel as well as the next and the next and the next. He said he became do frightened he drove himself to a hotel and stayed for three days in prayer. When he came out he said he felt as if he had been struck by God’s grace, forgiven and born anew. Willie is now a successful physical trainer and a Christian Minister.

            So how did Willie go from being a drug dealer to a follower of the Christ? Well, Willie had a conversion experience. But what does a conversion experience actually mean? It refers to an immediate and complete mystical transformation of a core part of one’s nature, always resulting in an illuminated understanding of God’s love and grace. Mystical refers to experiences that require grace in order to transcend the barriers of our minds.

            This brings us back to the story of Saul. In the scripture passage we heard this morning Saul has a radical conversion turning from being a person who persecuted Christians; to becoming the primary mover and shaker behind the spread of the Gospel to the gentiles. His conversion totally transformed his understanding of God’s love through Jesus, who brings forgiveness and the healing power of grace to all sinners.

            The narrative begins with Saul being so possessed by intense hatred towards Jesus’ followers that he is described as breathing threats of murder, drawing hatred into his heart and spewing out violence in his words and actions.  In his frenzy to stomp out as many followers of Jesus as possible, Saul sets out on a trip to Damascus in the hunt for Christ’s disciples to bring them back to Jerusalem for persecution. When suddenly a flash of light surrounds him; he falls to the ground and he hears a voice calling his name. It is Jesus. Stopped in his tracks, the once mighty and formidable Saul is forced into vulnerability by blindness and he needs to be led by the hand to Damascus by his companions.  He is no longer breathing death and violence; he is no longer in charge of his life. He has been struck by the transforming power of the grace of God. For three days, broken in spirit, he sits in darkness, not eating or drinking. Yet it is during those three days, his dark nights of the soul, something began to speak to his heart. And, he began to do the inner work of transformation, praying and getting in touch with the power of God’s grace. It is during these three days that God’s love becomes illuminated and Saul dies to his old self and awakens to new life, in Jesus Christ. And, we learn, that God’s healing grace can do what seems to be impossible.

            As powerful of a story as Saul’s conversion is, looking deeper we also find another conversion experience in this passage. It is the transformation of Ananias’ heart from fear to love when he too is struck by the grace of God. We learn that Ananias, is a follower of the way, a disciple of Jesus. In a vision he is told by God to go to Saul so that Saul may be filled with the Holy Spirit and regain his sight. But Ananias is terrified knowing of Saul’s reputation of doing evil to the saints in Jerusalem. Yet God commands him to go and Ananias, by the healing grace of God, replaces his fear with compassion and loving kindness. He goes and placing his hands upon him, baptizing Saul with the seal of the Holy Spirit marking the new disciple as God’s own. It is when Ananias says the words “Brother Saul” that we know grace has deeply touched both men’s hearts. Both men’s spiritual transformation moved them from their fear and pain to trusting in God’s love.

          Ananiais’ story reminds me of a moment when I too felt I was struck my grace. I was working as a member of a parent association at my daughter’s high school. The group consisted of parents who helped to raise funds and chaperone the student during school events. We were generally a group of women and men who enjoyed each others company working together to help make our children’s school experience meaningful.

            But not all parents seem to easily fit into this select group. One night several of us mothers were preparing for an event when another mother came in the room. She was a person the rest of us did not know well. As she walked into the room we noticed she seemed to be a little off. She was talking loudly but not making sense; she began waving her arms around and displayed other strange behavior. The rest of us began to feel uncomfortable. We didn’t know what to do but we began giving each other the look, you know the look, rolling our eyes, hoping she would leave. What is this person doing here? What is her problem? None of us said very much to her but all watched as she talked with some of the students. A short time later she left the room and the remaining mothers and me began to speculate about her. Something wasn’t right.

            The next morning the same group of mothers, including myself, reconvened. The topic of the strange behaving mother was brought up and we again speculated on the reasons why she was behaving so oddly. Disapproving remarks were made. She wasn’t part of our inner group. She was different and we excluded her.

                   As our discussion turned intense, another mother came by to help. She was not a witness to the strange behavior of the mother from the night before. But as she listened to our conversation she quietly said, “You know, maybe something is wrong. Maybe we should ask her if she needs help. Maybe this is a time when we could include her, reach out to her in loving kindness and find out what it going on instead of complaining about her behavior.” 

            We all stopped and looked at her in utter amazement. The truth of her words struck me like a lightening bolt. In that moment grace shined a light on my sin, I saw it for what it was, a step in a direction away from God. Yet in the same moment I felt the warmth of God’s healing grace filling me with forgiveness and love.

            Recently I found a beautiful story describing grace as a force for healing written by Carolyn Myss. One afternoon while she was having lunch at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia she was seated next to a mother and a daughter. She found herself listening to their conversation, and she learned that the daughter had taken her mother out for lunch to celebrate her 92^nd birthday. As is the case with most people in their 90s, they no longer initiate conversation, so the daughter did most of the talking. It was impossible not to hear her as she reminisced about the people who had once filled their lives.

 “Well, those people were bad news, Mom. They weren’t really that nice to you,” said the daughter.

Oh, I don’t remember that,” said the tiny fragile mother.

“It’s true, and your sister was also no angel” said the daughter.

“Funny, but I can’t recall those things,” said the mother keeping her eyes focused on her lunch. The conversation shifted to the mother’s marriage to her father.

“On mom I could tell you stories about Dad, believe me. You had a tough time with him.”

“I did,” the mother said, “I don’t remember.”

“You sure did.” said the daughter.

And just as the daughter was going elaborate on those difficult times, the mother turned to her and with a gentle smile on her face said, “I don’t want to remember those things anymore, Ann. Remind me, now, of what I loved. Remind me of what I loved about your father. I only want to be reminded of love.”

            The request immediately touched the daughter’s heart causing her to catch her breath. The mother had shot an arrow directly into the bitter wounds that possessed her daughter. For a moment the daughter struggled with the request trying to find memories of love she could no longer recall. Searching for love instead of pain was not something the daughter had anticipated. Then she took a deep breath and with a softer voice said, “Well, Mom, you loved the way Dad used to tease you.”

“I did?” The mother asked?

“Yes, you did and he always gave you roses on your birthday.” the daughter said,

“Oh,” said the mother with a smile, “I think I remember that”.

“And you know the necklace you are wearing, Mom, Dad gave you that on your 25^th anniversary.”

“No wonder I never want to take it off”, said the mother.

Then reaching out to her daughter the mother said, “Honey, don’t wait until you’re my age to ask someone else to remind you of what you loved in your life. Be wise enough to remind yourself of that everyday because someday those memories might just fade away like mine did, and the memories I miss the most are about the people I know I loved.”

            Today’s scripture, telling us of the stories of the conversions of Saul and Ananias as followers of Christ, give us a lens by which we too can see God’s grace transforming our lives. Whether we have a radical conversion or we grow in our faith day by day, we are blessed by the moments when we are struck by the healing power of grace which keeps our hearts and minds illuminated on the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. Amen