“A BETTER WAY HOME”

MATTHEW 2:1-12

2:1 Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men  from the east came to Jerusalem,

2 saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”

3 When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him;

4 and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born.

5 They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet:

6 “‘And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
who will shepherd my people Israel.’”

7 Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared.

8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him.”

9 After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was.

10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

11 And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh.

12 And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.

“And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.” Poor Gaspar. Poor Melchior.  Poor Balthazar.  You can almost hear the three wise men grumbling to each other as they made their way home. “This isn’t fair.  We didn’t do anything wrong.  Herod’s the bad guy here. Herod’s the one who wanted to kill the Christ child. We’re the ones who brought him all those really cool gifts - gold, frankincense and myrrh. Those aren’t the kind of gifts that you pick up at Wal-Mart you know.  So, why do we have to take the long way home. It just isn’t fair.”

Maybe you know what that’s like.  You feel like you’re being punished even though you know that you’re right and the other person is wrong.  That happens from time to time because we don’t live in a perfect world. We don’t live in a world where the good people always prosper and the bad people are always punished.

So, like it or not, you can probably remember a time when you felt the same way a farmer did when his son flipped their horse drawn wagon over.  As soon as the accident occurred a neighbor ran over and offered to help.  “Willis,” the neighbor said, “I’ll help you get your wagon back up.  Before we do that though why don’t you come and have supper with us.  It will help you take your mind off your troubles.”   “I better not,” the boy replied. “Pa might not like that.”  The neighbor wouldn’t take no for an answer though.  So, the boy finally agreed. “Okay,” he said, “but Pa won’t like it.” After they enjoyed a heart supper the boy thanked his neighbor again for his hospitality. “But,” he added, “I know Pa isn’t going to be happy.”  “Nonsense!” the neighbor said.  “By the way, where is your Pa?”  “Oh,” Willis said, “he’s under the wagon.”

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. So sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re being punished even though you didn’t do anything wrong. Things haven’t changed much since the wise men went to Bethlehem to see the new born King.  Herod was the one who should have been punished. Herod was the one who was cruel and calculating and cunning.  Herod was the one who wanted to kill the Christ child in his crib.  The wise men, however, were the ones who had to pay the price for Herod’s evil intentions.  They’re the ones who had to return to their own country by another way.  That other way, by the way, undoubtedly meant a longer and more difficult journey home.

Now in a perfect world the wise men would have gone back to Herod and reasoned with him. They would have told Herod that the Christ child’s kingdom wasn’t going to be of this world and so he had nothing to fear. Here’s the thing though.  Do you think Herod would have listened to the wise men? Before you answer that question let me tell you something else about Herod.  Herod was so paranoid and was so ruthless when it came to protecting his throne that he actually had his own sons murdered. That historical fact is why the historian Josephus once said that it was safer to be Herod’s pig than his son.  So, do you think Herod would have listened to the wise men when it came to that new born King?  Absolutely not!

Herod wasn’t about to change.  So, the wise men had to change.  They had to change their travel plans. They had to take the road home that was undoubtedly longer and a lot more difficult.  It wasn’t fair but it’s what they had to do.

Maybe God is saying the same thing to you.  You probably don’t have a Herod in your life but you may have someone who is making your life difficult.  In your heart you know that you’re right and the other person is wrong but you also know that the other person isn’t going to change.  The other person isn’t going to stop his compulsive gambling.  The other person isn’t going to stop cheating on you.  The other person isn’t going to stop talking behind your back at work.  The other person isn’t going to stop asking you for money when she gets into financial trouble.  When that happens you have to do what the wise men did.  Like it or not, you’re the one who’s going to have to change.  You’re the one who’s going to have to step away from the relationship or look for a new job or move to another apartment or live your life differently.

That’s what Dear Abby basically said when she answered a letter from a mother who was worried about her son.  In her letter the mother wrote, “Dear Abby, I know that boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is seventy-three and he’s still chasing women.  Any suggestions?”  In her reply Abby wrote, “Don’t worry.  My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

If your son won’t stop chasing women then the only thing you can do is let go of the worry and the fear and the anger and move on with your life.   Maybe you don’t want to do that because you feel that it’s wrong to give up on the person.  If that’s what you’re thinking let me share some words of wisdom with you that a minister shared with me many years ago.  He reminded me that “Jesus calls us to follow him and that sometimes he even asks us to die for him but Jesus never asked anyone to commit suicide for him.”  In other words Jesus doesn’t want you to throw your life away trying to change someone or something that can’t be changed or won’t change.

Some people don’t want to let go and move on because they feel it’s wrong to give up on the other person.  Some people don’t want to let go and move on because they want the other person to know how much their words or deeds hurt them.  If you feel that way let me share with you some more words of wisdom.  This time the words of wisdom come from a woman named Corrie Ten Boom.  Corrie Ten Boom was a Christian who ended up in a concentration camp during World War II.  She was sent to the concentration camp because she and her family tried to help Jews escape the Holocaust.  After she got out of the concentration camp Corrie Ten Boom struggled with her anger and resentment.  Then one day she realized something very important.  In her book “The Hiding Place,” she wrote that “To forgive is to set the prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you.”

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.  We don’t live in a world where the good people always prosper and the bad people are always punished.  So, if that other person isn’t going to change even though you know that you’re right and they’re wrong God wants you to do what the wise men did.  God wants you to go home by another way. 

That other way will be difficult.  It will be difficult because you’ll have to forgive as you let go and move on with your life. That other way will also be difficult because God wants you to keep praying for the person and loving the person.

God wants you to do that because there’s always the possibility that the person will experience something similar to what a recovering alcoholic experienced many years ago. One day the man was attending a Bible Study where they were talking about the first miracle that Jesus ever performed.  Okay now. Put your thinking caps on.  What was the first miracle that Jesus performed?  It happened at the wedding in Cana.  That’s where Jesus turned the water into wine.  At one point someone asked if everyone else believed that Jesus actually turned the water into wine.  The man who was a recovering alcoholic thought about it for a moment then said, “I don’t know if he turned water into wine but I do know that in my house he’s turned beer into furniture.”

I won’t lie to you.  When you take the other way home it will be difficult.  It’s hard to let go.  It’s hard to forgive.  It’s hard to keep praying for someone who won’t admit that they’ve hurt you.  It might even be hard to turn around and welcome the person back into your life someday.  So, there’s no doubt about it.  The other way home will be difficult but I will promise you this.  After everything is said and done you will see that the other way home is a better way home.  Amen.

Rev. Dr. Richard A. Hughes

January 10, 2010