“CAN YOU LOVE WHEN YOU’RE BEING SHOVED?”

MATTHEW 1:18-25

18  Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.

19  Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly.

20  But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

21  She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins."

22  All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

23  "Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us."

24  When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife,

25  but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

You know even with all the hustle and bustle that’s going on right now, this is still a wonderful time of the year. There’s so much going on that can put a smile on your face.  The Christmas carols are delightful. The holiday goodies are delicious. The lights are dazzling and it all points to the glad tidings that the angels shared that night with the shepherds.  “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord.”  This is a time of year when love is in the air.

I don’t know about you, but I need all of those warm and fuzzy sights and sounds.  I need those glad tidings. Without them you could easily end up looking a little like the guy who put a very usual bumper sticker on his car.  The bumper sticker didn’t pull any punches.  All it said was, “I don’t care what you love, what your other car is, who you brake for or what you’d rather be doing.”

Imagine how miserable life would be if that’s the way you looked at things day, after day, after day.  No caring.  No compassion.  Simply put. No love. We all need a little love in our lives. We need the love that cheers when a infant takes his or her first step.  We need the love that smiles when you see an elderly couple holding hands while out for a walk.  We need the love that takes the time to listen when your heart is breaking. We even need the love that a little boy shared one day with his mother while sitting on her lap.  “Mommy,” the little boy said, “I love you.”  “Oh,” the mother said playfully, “How could you love a mommy who’s so fat and ugly?”  “Mommy,” the little boy said very firmly, “you’re not fat and ugly. You’re fat and pretty.”

You know, Victor Hugo was right when he said that, “The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.” 

Love is one of the blessings of Emmanuel.  At the same time you and I both know that there’s a lot more to love than all those sweet sentiment that you see in those Hallmark cards.  There’s a lot more to love than the Kodak moments that you capture at weddings and birthday parties and family reunions.  That’s the easy part of love. There is another part of love that isn’t so easy.

It’s a part of love that can be very painful.  It’s a part of love that can really hurt. Just ask Joseph.  He got a taste of that part of love a few months before he made the journey to Bethlehem. 

It all started when he found out that Mary was great with child. Imagine what it must have been like for him when he heard the news.  He must have been devastated.  How could it be?  How could Mary betray him like that?  All his hopes and dreams for their future together came crashing down on him. 

Now what do you do when something like that happens?  You get angry, right?  Even if you have the patience of a saint; even if you’re the most forgiving person around there are times when you’re going to get angry.  Just like the Quaker years out in Indiana did many years ago when he found himself dealing with a very stubborn mule. Now this Quaker was as mild mannered as they come. No matter what he did though he couldn’t get the mule to budge. Finally, the Quaker decided enough was enough.  “Mule,” he said very calmly, “thou knowest that because of my religion I cannot beat thee, or curse thee, or abuse thee in any way. But mule,” he continued, “what thou doesn’t know is that I can sell thee to an Episcopalian.” By the way, I suppose he could have just as easily sold the mule to a Congregationalist.

In any event, sometimes your anger gets the best of you and you fight back. Sometimes that anger gets your thinking all messed up and you start jumping the conclusions. You make assumptions that really aren’t fair.  You start looking for negatives that aren’t really there. So instead of asking questions you start making accusations.  Instead of looking for reconciliation you start looking for revenge. Anger can be a demon that eats away at the love in your heart.

Now Joseph may have jumped the conclusions when he heard the news about Mary, but did he let his anger run wild?  Did he confront Mary and call her all kinds of names?  No. Did he go out of his way to make her miserable?  No.  Did he give her the silent treatment and make her beg for forgiveness?  No.

What he did was go out of his way to make it easy on Mary.  He did decide to divorce her, but he decided to do it quietly.  Why? Because he didn’t want to embarrass her.  He didn’t want to cause her any shame.  He didn’t to put Mary in a situation where people would be cruel to her..  By the way, don’t forget.  Joseph decided on that course of action before Gabriel showed up to explain what was really going on. 

So, what does that say about Joseph?  It says that in spite of what he thought was going on he still loved Mary.  He still loved her even though his pride was wounded.  He still loved her even though his heart was broken.