THE WISE AND THE OTHERWISE

“THE WISE AND THE OTHERWISE”

MATTHEW 25:1-12

25:1 "Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom.

2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise.

3 When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them;

4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps.

5 As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept.

6 But at midnight there was a shout, 'Look! Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.'

7 Then all those bridesmaids got up and trimmed their lamps.

8 The foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.'

9 But the wise replied, 'No! there will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.'

10 And while they went to buy it, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet; and the door was shut.

11 Later the other bridesmaids came also, saying, 'Lord, lord, open to us.'

12 But he replied, 'Truly I tell you, I do not know you.'

13 Keep awake therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

Sometime ago a teacher gave the children in her class an assignment. She asked them to write down some of the important lessons they had learned in their young lives. It turned out to be an interesting list. The list included such unusual lessons as:

No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize a cat.
Don’t let your mom comb your hair when she’s mad at your dad.
You can’t trust a dog to watch your food.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

By the way, I know that one’s true from personal experience. Then one more,

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.

In addition to these lessons there are the lessons that you learn from your parents. One of the first lessons your parents teach you of course is that you should always share. You share by letting the other children play with your toys. If you have a bag of candy you share by giving some to the other boys and girls.

When your heart is full of love that’s what you do. You share. While that’s true there are some exceptions to that rule. Sometimes love means you don’t share. Sometimes it also means you don’t help. You don’t encourage.

Sometimes love says, “I know you really need the money, but I’m not going to give it to you.”

Sometimes love says, “No. I’m not going to help you. Do it yourself.”

Sometimes loves says, “I don’t care if it upsets you. I’m going to tell you whether you like it or not.”

Maybe you’re dealing with a situation right now where you’re wondering if you need to say something like that. Maybe the situation involves a friend or someone in the family. If you’re like most people the thought of not sharing; not helping; not encouraging someone makes you feel a little guilty.

Before you start scolding yourself though, you might want to take another look at the parable Jesus told the disicples a few days after he entered Jerusalem. It's called the Parable of the Wise and the Foolish Bridesmaids. What you see in this parable is that the wise bridesmaids didn't share! They didn't help! They didn't encourage!

Now in order to really appreciate the parable you need how weddings were celebrated at the time. Back then it was common for a wedding feast to last an entire week. People would come together to sing and dance and eat. Then at some point the groom would go to meet his bride. There was no set time when that had to happen though. It could be early in the week or late in the week. It could be during the day or the middle of the night. That’s why the bridesmaids had to be ready. That’s what got the foolish bridesmaids into trouble.

In the midst of their celebrating they let the oil in their lamps run low. So, they asked the wise bridesmaids to share their oil with them. Instead of helping them out though the wise bridesmaids refused.

“The foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise replied, 'No! There will not be enough for you and for us…go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’”

So much for sharing! You have to wonder if the wise bridesmaids felt any guilt at all. Not only did they refuse to share but also while the foolish bridesmaids were out looking for oil they missed the arrival the bridegroom. When they got back, they pleaded with him to let them in, but they were unceremoniously turned away. The bridegroom sends them away and says without any regret, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.'

Now Jesus prefaced this parable by saying it was about the kingdom of heaven. In that regard it is a warning. It reminds that you always need to be ready because you never know when Jesus is going to come back. Beyond that though, the parable also makes a case for a love that doesn’t share; a love that doesn’t help; a love that doesn’t encourage. Notice that the wise bridesmaids are never criticized or condemned for turning their backs on the foolish bridesmaids. There isn’t an ounce of reproach toward them in the entire parable.

That’s because people, like the foolish bridesmaids, need to understand that actions have consequences. If you fix the problem for them they’re never going to take responsibility for their actions. That’s a huge problem these days. People don’t take responsibility for their actions.

It’s like the guy who backed into another car in a parking lot. As soon as he heard the loud bang he got out of his car and went to look at the damage. Much to his dismay he discovered a huge dent in the other car. So, he did the only thing he could do. He took out a piece of paper and wrote a note to the owner of the other car. In the note the man said he was really sorry. Then he wrote, “I backed into your car. The people who saw the collision are all watching me. They think I am writing down my name and address. I am not. They are wrong.”

Yes, we live in a society where people don’t take responsibility for their actions. For example, if a child gets in trouble at school, it’s the teacher’s fault. Several years ago someone told me about a friend of theirs who teaches in a school not far from North Reading. One day the teacher told a boy in the class to do something. He refused. So, the teacher told him again; this time a little more forcefully. Once again the boy refused, and this time he called the teacher a name that begins with the letter B. The teacher sent the boy to the principal. The principal suspended the boy. Later that afternoon a furious father called the principal and demanded to know why his son had been suspended. The principal explained to the father that his son had been suspended for calling his teacher a name that begins with the letter B. “Well,” the father said indignantly, “did she deserve it?”

Yes, we live in a society where people don’t take responsibility for their actions. If a child gets in trouble at school, it’s the teacher’s fault. If you’re obese, you blame McDonald’s. After all they’re the ones that sold you all that high fat food. If a person gets arrested six or seven times for driving drunk, you don’t take away his license. That might make it too hard for the person to get to work. If your lamp runs out of oil don’t worry. The wise bridesmaids will share their oil with you right?

Wrong. The wise bridesmaids didn’t share their oil. They made the foolish bridesmaids go buy their own oil. They made them face the music so to speak. They made them take responsibility for their actions. There are times when you have to do something like that with a friend or someone in the family. When that happens it hurts. Just remember though. Sometimes when you make things easy for someone that isn’t love at all.

A husband found that out one Sunday morning. The wife was just about ready to go to church when she realized that her husband wasn’t dressed yet. “Why aren’t you dressed for church?” she asked. “I’m not going to church this morning,” the husband insisted, “and I’ll give you three good reasons. It’s boring. Nobody likes me and they’re always looking for money.” The wife wasn’t pleased at all. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped. “I’ll give you three reasons why you should go. First of all it isn’t boring. Second of all a few people do like you. And third, you’re the pastor. So get dressed!”

Love isn’t always soft and sentimental. Sometimes it’s tough and tenacious. Sometimes you have to be like that wife. Sometimes you have to be like the wise bridesmaids in the parable. Not because you want to but because it really is what’s best.

November 6, 2005

Rev. Dr. Richard A. Hughes